So you’ve finally accepted the fact that one day zombies will overthrow humanity. Now you want to learn how to not become zombie food. Fear not! The expert at surviving zombie apocalypse simulations is here to share some useful tips for your survival.
1) Go watch Zombieland.
2) Create a plan.
Now that some of the common zombie myths have been dispelled and you’ve acquired a basic knowledge of what will happen after Z-Day, you need to figure out a plan of survival. Keep a stockpile of basic things like nonperishable food, water, first aid, and essentials at all times, and make a kit for quick evacuation. You should also communicate with friends and family and designate a meeting place. Don’t forget to include your pets in your escape plan too!
3) Assess your environment.
Does your house have large windows? Or a fire escape? Do you live on a hill? Plan your defenses accordingly. Be prepared with some planks of wood and other fortifications, or prepare to relocate to a more appropriate fortress. Keep in mind your work place too, or other places you frequent.
4) Equip yourself.
Buy a baseball bat or a shotgun and keep it in an easily accessible location. Get something easy to use for decapitation or push-back. You’ll also need appropriate clothing; no baggy or loose clothes with things to grab.
5) Prepare for life among the undead.
Do some more research so you’ll be able to identify signs that the initial outbreak is imminent, symptoms of zombification, and the first signs of widespread panic. You should also consider life after Z-Day. No more traffic, no more fast food, no new tv shows… life is going to be very different, so you’ll have to adjust to being a minority in the new zombie culture. Luckily, you still have some time to prepare for your new life!
Looking for even more info on the zombie apocalypse? Check out this awesome link: http://zombieresearch.net/ Thanks for the contribution, JT!
Filed under: Humor, Internet Culture | Tagged: defense, guide, how to, survival, weapons, zombies | 4 Comments »